Realizing Your Resolutions
by Stanley Haluska CCH
³If I wanted to, I could...² always seems to be our excuse to why we
havenıt: stopped smoking, lost weight, stopped drinking, quit yelling at
the kids, gotten rid of that unwanted habit, released that fear, did better
in school, or found that perfect mate.
We see things about ourselves we would like to change but often feel trapped
or imprisoned by ourselvescondemned to what we donıt want. We set deadlines
(i.e. birthdays, anniversaries, pregnancies, vacations, New Years) to change
our lives only to see the dates come and go with only our self-esteem and
self-confidence disappearing.
We have tried every pill, program and patchyet to no avail.
How do I know this? Been there, done that.
Until I found a different way. Now nearly a decade as a nonsmoker and
currently diminishing inches around my waist I have found a ³new way² and it
has been the easiest thing I ever did and IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH WILL
POWER. IT SIMPLY HAD TO DO WITH CHOICE.
Through my years as a clinical hypnotherapist, I have had the opportunity to
see what does and does not work. I have come to realize the attitudes needed
to create permanent and lasting change in oneıs life. When we understand how
the mind works we can create what we desire. It is like learning to drive a
car, when we understand how it operates it can take us to our destination.
OUR MINDS ARE A VEHICLE OF TRANSPORTATION NOT AN OBSTACLE TO TO OUR GOALS.
Many of us tend to back away from what we donıt want rather than head
towards what we do. We try to get to our destination by shifting into
reverse and backing away from where we donıt want to be.
This leads us to the first attitude: DONıT RESIST. What you resist does
persist. Let me give you an example: Okay, ready, count to ten and donıt
think of three. Donıt think of pink elephants. Get it? Notice that when you
want to stop doing something you want to do it even more. Remember that last
attempt at loosing weight when you promised yourself you would not have ice
cream every day or how you smoked twice as much the day you said you would
cut down? Resistance to a thing, behavior or action directs your energy to
it and empowers that which you donıt want. WHERE ATTENTION GOES ENERGY
FLOWS. While in the process of changing a behaviorenjoy the cigarette,
savor the ice cream, forgive the angry outburst. GUILT DOES NOT WORK and
runs interference between you and your goal. Guilt is driving your car with
the breaks on. WILLPOWER HAS NO PLACE HERE, change is not a battle but a
choice.
The second attitude is BE WILLING TO BE WILLING TO CHANGE. If you were
already willing to stop smoking, lose weight, stop drinking, control anger
there would be no need to have a resolutionit would have already occurred.
How does one express this willingness? Many of you have heard of
affirmations, for those who have not, an affirmation is a statement about
the future made in the present as if it has occurred in the past. It is the
destination of our vehicle of change. An example: The active smoker affirms,
³I am a nonsmoker with ease, health and abundance.² The person wishing to
loose weight, ³I am slim trim healthy firm and strong.² An affirmation
should be personal, present and positive. Not ³I will be a nonsmoker,² but
³I am a nonsmoker.² Not ³I will not get cancer,² but ³I am healthy.²
Be careful what you think, say or feel after ³I am.² The words ³I am²
unleash the creative force of your mind. Simply stated, how you see yourself
is a self-fulfilling prophecy. How our affirmations become a statement of
our willingness to be willing is by adding two simple words to it, ³I
CHOOSE.² For example: ³I choose I am a nonsmoker.² ³I choose I am slim,
trim, healthy, firm and strong.² I have found a dramatic jump in the success
rate of my clients using this technique.
Remember, I mentioned stopping smoking was the easiest thing I ever did once
I put these simple attitudes into effect. And yes, I was a two pack-a-day
smoker. I stopped smoking by saying, ³I choose I am a nonsmoker with ease,
peace, health and abundance² while puffing on a cigarette. One of the
pitfalls about affirmations is that we think an affirmation should be a
deterrent. An example: on our way to the refrigerator we repeat our
affirmation, ³I am slim, trim healthy, firm and strong² thinking that will
cause us to make a U-turn between the couch and the refrigerator. That is
resistance. Rather, while you are scooping out a large bowl of ice cream and
slathering it with chocolate sauce simply affirm your destination.
The third attitude is NEVER SAY NEVER, that also is resistance. Never say
youıve had your last cigarette, last bowl of ice cream, last drink or last
emotional outburst. Rather choose to not have one now. I have not yet had my
last cigarette but for nearly a decade I have not had one now. Affirm your
change for the now and the future will take care of itself. The result is
simply you will forget to smoke, no longer desire the ice cream, be free of
addiction, be calmer, healthier and happier because you have come to fully
realize THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
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